She Likes To Be In Control

Thought Catalog

She wakes up an hour earlier now. Her alarm rings on and off for a few minutes before she finally gets up, showers, and ties her hair into a damp towel. Classes don’t start for a while and she’s not a morning person. She spends time sitting in front of her mirror trying to make herself look prettier – painting her face and blow-drying her hair. It takes effort, but it makes her feel better walking around campus, scurrying from class to class, meeting to meeting. She smiles. She waves. She small talks. She’s less self-conscious now, because she feels prettier. And if she feels prettier, she likes herself better. She can hide her flaws and imperfections. She can fix herself. She says it’s for her, but maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s because she’s tired. She sleeps for only a few hours every night. Worries and anxieties clutter in her…

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